Resolvi renomear o Teaser Tuesdays, numa tradução assim mais que livre, mais que alforriada, como tempero da terça. Caso você não se lembre, ele é um post que veio do Should be reading e tem a intenção de trazer uns parágrafos do livro que você estiver lendo pras pessoas terem um gostinho dele, então achei condizente :)
Esse é do Let's pretend it never happened, da Jenny Lawson (comprei no Kindle, mas a versão em português é essa aqui, Vamos fazer de conta que isso nunca aconteceu). É uma autobiografia cheia de graça. Essas partes me fizeram rir alto.
This theory worked well for my sister, who has never been sick a day in her life, and is one of those Amazonian women who could squat in a field to have a baby and then pick the baby up and keep on hoeing, except also the field would be on fire, and she’d be all, “Fuck you, fire!” and walk through it like that scary robot in The Terminator.
Hey, Grandlibby?” I asked. “What’s a ‘turn-on’?” She paled visibly, looking mildly ill. “Well,” she said…struggling for words, “it’s…um…the things that make you happy, I suppose?” I turned to my cousin. “My turn-ons are Rainbow Brite and unicorns.” Michelle smiled back, her two front teeth missing. “My turn-ons are Monchhichis. And Tubble Gum.
Victor kind of rolled his eyes when his mom went on about all the debutante balls Victor had gone to with these girls, and I nodded, trying to look politely interested. Then she asked me when I came out and I said, “Oh, I’m not gay. I’m dating your son,” which I thought was pretty clear to begin with. Then Victor started coughing loudly and Bonnie looked confused, but then she got distracted, because Victor sounded like he’d swallowed his own tongue, and then right after that Victor said that we should probably leave.
And don’t bother to deny it, because you just read it, so you have to be thinking about it. This is the way books work. Also? Velociraptors. Ha! I just made you think about velociraptors. Awesome. This is probably why Stephen King writes so many books. I am totally controlling your mind right now.